Where I Rant About Fitmom

(Or rather, the response.)

You've seen it. We probably all have. That picture of the ridiculously good looking mom with the abs I could wash my stretchy pants on, posing with her three kids around her. Caption: 'What's Your Excuse?'

I first saw it shared from a facebook page looking for 'thoughts'. Those always crack me up, those posts looking for thoughts. When I first started reading the comments I jumped in the same boat as most and was a little put off by that fit mom challenging me as I sat in my chair wasting more time on the internet. But not as put off as much as most. And then I came across a comment that bucked the trend, the commenter stating we didn't know this mom, didn't know of her personal struggles, that she(the person commenting) had followed the fitmom's blog for years and that the image was meant for her fitness group. So I went digging. And realized I was wrong in my initial judgement.

That's right, I said judgement. Because that's what it was.

'But Stacy! She is judging all of us for not looking like her!'

No, no she is not. She made a motivational image meant to inspire her fitness group. It wasn't made to disseminate to all women. It is a celebration of what she's accomplished despite her own personal hurdles. She makes no assumption of yours or mine(hurdles), doesn't even declare our goals to be synonymous. Because the image was never intended for us.

But the response- let's just call it what it is. Bullying. The bullying she received is very telling.

'Telling of what, Stacy? How catty women are? That's sexist!'

How much we hate ourselves.

How much we've been sold that we're not good enough, pretty enough, rich enough, skinny enough, fashionable enough, smart enough. You name it, we're not up to par. According to whom, I'm not exactly sure. Media, society as a whole, companies who's sole objective is to sell us stuff to make up for these perceived shortcomings. Take your pick, take them all.

It boils down to us. Ladies, stop comparing yourselves to one another, stop tearing each other down. The conspirator-ist in me can't help but think sometimes it's all meant to be a distraction. Because let's be honest, if we actually put our self-hate-filled-words down, and banded together, we would effect some serious change.

Kang wrote: “I’m sorry you took an image and resonated with it in such a negative way. I won’t go into details that I struggled with my genetics, had an eating disorder, work full time owning two business’, have no nanny, am not naturally skinny and do not work as a personal trainer. I won’t even mention how I didn’t give into cravings for ice cream, french fries or chocolate while pregnant or use my growing belly as an excuse to be inactive. What I WILL say is this. What you interpret is not MY fault. It’s Yours. The first step in owning your life, your body and your destiny is to OWN the thoughts that come out of your own head. I didn’t create them. You created them. So if you want to continue ‘hating’ this image, get used to hating many other things for the rest of your life. You can either blame, complain or obtain a new level of thought by challenging the negative words that come out of your own brain.”

I challenge everyone to consider the root of your own self-hate, self-doubt, self-whatever you want to call it, and change it. The world really needs more compassion and care, and it has to start within.

Peace and Light.